if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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