I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
