This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
