This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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