is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
