my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
either way he was missing a nipple.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
