I just made out with a guy for $7.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
