I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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