dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
