she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
