Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
