I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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