Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
