My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize