so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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