i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
