I didn't shave. On purpose
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
