Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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