Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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