I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
