Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
