I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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