The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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