I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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