I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Pants are for mortals
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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