I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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