One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
