why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
3pm strippers are depressing
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
