hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
