You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
