I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
