how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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