I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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