Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
