Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
