PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
