Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
