How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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