Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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