I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
