if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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