it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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