All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.