why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
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Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
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i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.