Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I've blown a few things in my day
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid