I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
