When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
