Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
we're so committed to being not committed
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
