Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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