Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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