he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
