He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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