so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
