Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
