Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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