I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
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I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
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We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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