thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
