she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
