Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
why do cheetos always look like penises
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
