I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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