i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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