Already got asked if we're dating
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
