erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
