We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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